Hallelujah
by JustWaitingForInspiration
Summary: A look at how Drax might interpret and react to the song "Hallelujah". Takes place after Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. *Warning* Potential spoilers for Vol. 2.


Mandatory Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, who belong to Marvel, or the song, which was originally written and performed by Leonard Cohen.

 **Hallelujah**

Drax was accustom to strange human music pumping through the ship. For as long as he could remember, Quill was always surrounded by music. When they had first met, all Peter had was his Walkman and a single set of songs, which Drax quickly learned to tune out. When Volume 2 had come along, he was once again able to quickly tune out the songs. After all, the repetitive nature of those small music cartridges meant that there was not a lot of variety. However, once Kraglin gave Quill the Zune Yondu had found for him, things changed. There were so many songs! And they didn't play in the same order each time! These "improvements" to Quill's music device were aggravating at times. Unlike Peter, Drax was not a dancer, and did not appreciate the constant music, particularly not when they were not on a job. Music was for war rallies and battles, not calm moments when nothing was happening. He did his best to ignore the music, and he was getting better at it. Until the day he heard a song unlike any other Quill had played so far.

" _Well I heard there was a secret chord_

 _That David played and it pleased the Lord"_

This song had no instruments, only a man's voice. At least, to start with. That difference was enough to make Drax pause for a moment, tuning into the words of the human song.

" _But you don't really care for music, do you?"_

This line made him think of the first time he saw Hovat. She really didn't care for music in the slightest. No being had ever so willfully ignored the rhythms that all others were eventually drawn into. His Hovat was the furthest thing from a dancer the galaxy had ever known.

" _Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth_

 _The minor fall and the major lift_

 _The baffled king composing Hallelujah"_

Just like this "baffled king" the song mentioned, Drax did not understand what counting and lifts had to do with music or this strange word, "Hallelujah". What is a Hallelujah? Drax made a note to ask Quill when he saw him, as it must be some sort of strange human tradition that wasn't translating properly.

" _Hallelujah…. Hallelujah…. Hallelujah…. Hallelujah"_

Who-or-whatever this Hallelujah was, the singer really liked them. Drax was losing interest in the song, and was about to return to sharpening his blade when the lyrics finally changed.

" _Your faith was strong but you needed proof_

 _You saw her bathing on the roof_

 _Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you"_

Why was this woman bathing on the roof at night where others could see her? Drax didn't understand. Humans are truly strange creatures. He did understand the beauty of a being overtaking another, though. Hovat had been simply stunning in the moonlight, and all other types of light. That first night, they had talked for so long that the war rally was long over by the time they took note of their surroundings once again. The awareness of the time had prompted Drax to look to the sky, then back to Hovat, who was bathed in the light of the planet's three moons. It was a bittersweet memory for Drax. He was still mourning her death, and likely would be forever, he realized. It seemed that even new, completely unrelated stimuli could still evoke the pain of losing her.

" _She tied you to her kitchen chair_

 _She broke your throne and she cut your hair"_

Drax laughed briefly as the memories of their first disagreement popped into his head. While Hovat hadn't restrained him in a chair, he had been given no choice but to sit after their brawl. His beloved was quite the fighter! He had been so impressed with her fighting that he immediately forgot what they had been fighting about, and let her have her way. His Hovat was a strong one. And the makeup sex they engaged in afterwards was just as physical, breaking multiple pieces of furniture and giving them each a few cuts that eventually became treasured scars.

" _And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah"_

There was that Hallelujah again. So, a Hallelujah is something that can be taken from within the body… Do humans have a part that they call a Hallelujah that is somehow removed from the body by way of the mouth while mating? If they did, Drax did not envy them. Maybe that was why Quill had been so reluctant to talk about his parents' coupling. It would make more sense if it was somehow so violent as to be removing body parts. Or maybe the lines meant that the woman had used the man's interest as a way to get close and then torture him. Drax had been puzzling over the meaning of the words for so long that he missed another set of Hallelujahs. Not that he cared. Now he just wanted to know that a Hallelujah was, and why it mattered so much to this man.

" _Baby I've been here before_

 _I've seen this room and I've walked this floor (you know)_

 _I used to live alone before I knew you"_

Drax frowned slightly. This sounded like pieces of several conversations Drax had had with Hovat before she and Kamaria were murdered. He had been completely alone before he met Hovat, and hadn't realized how much he had missed out on in life by being so engaged with battle. The rest, though… The rest made up much of his conscious thought in the days after his wife and daughter were murdered by Ronan. Even though he knew the rooms and floors of their house, it felt completely different with them gone. He'd often told them so, before he processed enough grief to truly understand that they were permanently gone. Drax had not enjoyed his brief time returning to the isolated life of a warrior, hunting for Ronan to achieve revenge. Ronan's death had brought him some satisfaction and healing, but what was truly healing him now was his life as a Guardian of the Galaxy. He was sure Hovat would be proud of where he was now.

" _And I've seen your flag on the marble arch"_

Humans place flags in arches too? Drax wondered what purpose they did so for. His own clan had hung flags in front of their houses to indicate how many members were out in the battlefields. Every time someone returned victorious, their victory count was sewn into their flag and stored away safely until the next venture. Those who died and were found were wrapped in their flags and buried so they could take their record with them to bear witness to the gods. Anyone whose body went unfound was presumed to be alive and still fighting, so some flags remained upon the arch for generations, until the family knew that the person could not still be alive. The flags were then buried with additional inscriptions explaining who the person was, so that the gods could attribute the record to the lost relative.

" _And love is not a victory march_

 _It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"_

The accuracy of the statement gave Drax pause. Of course love was not a victory march! Victory marches only came when someone or something had been conquered, and are cause for joyous celebration. No one truly in love is ever conquered; they surrender to it wholly and willingly. Anyone who said otherwise had never been in love. Maybe this was a metaphor, or a reverse one at least. When paired with the next line, it seemed as though the singer was trying to describe the agony that comes at the end of love, when only one is left to go on. Drax knew all too well that there was no victory in being the sole survivor of a loving relationship. It was truly cold and broken. Hallelujah must be a human expression. It had been used too many ways to possibly be anything else. But he still didn't understand what it was supposed to represent.

" _Well, maybe there's a god above_

 _But all I've ever learned from love_

 _Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you"_

Once again, he had missed the very word he was pondering. Not that hearing it repeated another four times would have helped him grasp its meaning any better. Drax listened to the new lines, and thought back to the times he had participated in the funerals of his brethren. How many times had he cried out for the gods to receive their spirits swiftly and grant them passage to the great beyond? And how many times had he called upon the gods for strength in battle? Yet, where were the gods when his Hovat and Kamaria were taken from him? Why was he unable to defeat Ronan alone? Why had they deserted him when he had been faithful his whole life? Ever since the slaughter Ronan had brought, Drax had questioned the gods. And here were his very thoughts put to a tune. His ultimate lesson had been how to learn to live with the grief that love had brought him. He had enacted his revenge across the galaxy, searching for Ronan and his allies. But it hadn't been the revenge that had healed him, he realized with a start; it had been the unlikely friendship that his fellow Guardians provided him. They had prevented him from being trapped in a singular mindset like the singer. That was why he had stayed with them. Despite his inability to understand metaphors and his tactless, blunt nature, they seemed to like him. As he had told Nebula, the Guardians are family. No matter how many disputes they had, they were always there for each other in the end. Fortunately, twice now they had been able to prevent the end, so maybe that wasn't entirely accurate.

" _It's not a cry that you hear at night_

 _It's not somebody who's seen the light_

 _It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah"_

And there it was. The explanation that Drax had been waiting for. Hallelujah isn't a passionate cry for lovers or a person, it was survivors' statement. Hallelujah: all that's left when there is no more to love in the present, when only cherished memories remained. Perhaps at times it was a way of thanking the cosmos for what had once been, or what was in the moment, but it would always turn to sorrow in the end. Pleased with his success, Drax set off to find Peter as the final Hallelujah whispered through the ship.

"Quill! What a magnificent song! At last, you have provided meaningful music!" A startled Star-Lord looked up to see Drax stomping in his direction. He quickly checked the Zune to make sure he knew what song Drax was talking about, and did a doubletake when he saw "Hallelujah" just before the Zune proceeded to a new song. Pausing the music, he looked back to Drax, who was now directly in front of him, beaming.

"I'm glad you enjoyed the song so much, Drax! What – what was it that you liked so much about it?" Peter couldn't stop himself from asking. It was such a surprising choice that he just had to know.

"The journey to discovering what a Hallelujah is! I am surprised that humans could come up with such a descriptive word without having to use a metaphor!" Drax looked to Peter, and then realized that Quill had likely experienced the full effects of Hallelujah while his mother lay dying of cancer, and again during Yondu's funeral. "Star-Lord, you experienced Hallelujah recently. Why did you not say so at Yondu's funeral?"

Surprised by Drax's perceptiveness, Peter mused for a few moments before responding. "Hallelujah is a word that doesn't translate well, if at all. I've learned not to use certain words in order to avoid having to explain them, particularly when I don't think I can do them justice."

Drax nodded knowingly, and gestured to the Zune. "Use the song! Even I understood Hallelujah through the song!" As quickly as he had arrived, Drax wandered off, leaving Peter to wonder how Drax had come to such a confident understanding after only hearing the song once. Eventually, he shrugged and allowed the Zune to resume playing.

Meanwhile, Drax had returned to sharpening his blade, completely unaware that Quill had resumed the music. As he worked, he smiled to himself. "Hallelujah, Hovat. Hallelujah, Kamaria."

* * *

Author's Notes:

I love this song, and had always been curious about the line "But you don't really care for music, do you?" I finally found my answer in Hovat after watching Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. The intention of this story is to explore how Drax might react to it, and not so much the dictionary definition of Hallelujah.


End file.
